The Birth of Socialism

[mulligan]

SOCIALISM:You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM:You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:You have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:You have two cows.You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows because your sobering up and open another bottle of vodka.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who report the real situation.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION:Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.You tell them that you have none.No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh*t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but now you're a "democracy"....

THE POLISH GOVERNMENT:You have two cows. You lecture one on how turning gay will mean the end of cattle. The other cow emigrates.

CHELSEA FOOTBALL CLUB:You have two cows and twentysomething overpaid donkeys. Everyone hates you.

THE WELSH:You have two cows. You try not to look too disappointed.

AN IRISH ENTREPRENEUR:You have two cows. You borrow against future headage payments to develop your land. The cows can live in flat 62. In Bulgaria.

AN IRISH RURAL DWELLER:You have two cows. An Taisce object.

THE IRISH TIMES:You have two cows. They don't always agree with you. What sort of cattle are they?

THE SUNDAY INDEPENDENT:You have two cows. You start sleeping with one of them. A column follows.

FINE GAEL:You have two cows and, by God, a CONTRACT for two more!

PROGRESSIVE DEMOCRATS:You have two cows. The others were destroyed by an ungrateful public.You're not quite sure if two is enough to maintain an actual farm.

SINN FÉIN:You have two cows, not enough green fields, and lots and lots of sheep.

THE GREENS:You have two cows and an extensive portfolio of equity interests in various American food and beverage corporations. You sell these and pay child actors to pretend they want adults to vote for you.

FIANNA FÁIL:You had two cows. Due to separation proceedings with your one-time heifers, you dodge any questions on your finances.

Socialist Party:You have two cows. You keep one and pay the other to your party. This keeps you in touch with ordinary working farmers who have only one cow. The other farmers ignore or patronise you.

THE H.S.E.:You have two cows. They go on strike.

Love it!

Voters always get what they deserve.

Love it more!

[Donald Aquilano]

America is the shadow of its former self isn't it.
Time to pack up and leave.

And go where? Canada? Mexico? Mexico is run by criminals and Canada is run by socialists. It would be going from bad to worse.

[katherine]

There is a world beyond the USA and its neighbors

[Gerry]

so⋅cial⋅ism
  /ˈsoʊʃəˌlɪzəm/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [soh-shuh-liz-uhm] Show IPA
–noun
1. a theory or system of social organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole.

vs. the theory of lets just give our money away, keep handing billions of dollars to banks and car companies with no accountability measures in place.

[ilovedomains]

so⋅cial⋅ism
  /ˈsoʊʃəˌlɪzəm/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [soh-shuh-liz-uhm] Show IPA
–noun
1. a theory or system of social organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole.

vs. the theory of lets just give our money away, keep handing billions of dollars to banks and car companies with no accountability measures in place.

Regulating banks and giving people health care isnt socialism, its just common sense. America had regulated banks back when everyone called it Camalot.

Fact:
Canadas only socialist party (the NDP) has never been able to get elected. Not even once. Never even got close.

[Gerry]

Regulating banks and giving people health care isnt socialism, its just common sense. America had regulated banks back when everyone called it Camalot.

That is my point exactly.

NO regulation
NO responsibility
NO accountability

Is that the opposite of socialism?

Is that what people want? More of the same? More of what we just went through the past eight years? NO accountability?

6.5 years of no accountability, no responsibility, no oversight, failed policy - domestic or international - brought this county to the lowest it has ever been.

Finally the people are saying enough. They want accountability of the money being spent. And to those that get these kazillions - responsibility.

[ilovedomains]

That is my point exactly.

NO regulation
NO responsibility
NO accountability

Is that the opposite of socialism?

Is that what people want? More of the same? More of what we just went through the past eight years? NO accountability?

6.5 years of no accountability, no responsibility, no oversight, failed policy - domestic or international - brought this county to the lowest it has ever been.

Finally the people are saying enough. They want accountability of the money being spent. And to those that get these kazillions - responsibility.

Heres who wants people to think its socialism...
http://www.bloggingstocks.com/2009/0...ecord-bonuses/
Goldman Sachs staff will be receiving the largest bonus payouts in the company's 150-year history

Recession? What recession?

[Acquisition]

Greed Breeds Mean Deeds.

Funny how people bark @ socialism on a social website. When in need, it is also funny how the same people are 1st in line for a bailout, falling back on the social net after doing their best to kill the sacred cow.

After infringing upon the rights of others in pursuit of capitalistic greed, and when caught for their crimes, the Madoffs/Bushes of the World then run and hide behind those same rights as if they are the victims for victimizing others. The hyprocracy is just rich, as divided capitalists stood, yet united they now fall - bringing down everyone with it.

A selfish few continue to cut off the nose of the cow despite it's face - greedy morons.

Hope is that one day the Greed Disease is stricken from the sick and twisted mentality of self-centered people who do more to harm the World than contribute to it. Geo-specific pockets of this can be seen from all around the World.

Let's see any one of these greedy arseholes survive on this planet all alone without any other humans around - morons.

lol @ the followers who keep espousing their greedy perspectives only to continue to prove themselves wrong in crying along with selfish druggies like Rush.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You sell the least healthy cow and lie to the buyer about the health of the cow. Your herd multiplies while the buyers herd dies-out, and greed grows. Buyers lose faith in greedy cow sellers and the price of cows bottoms-out. You try to sell your cows and retire on the income but find that greed ruined life for everyone in your age demographic and global marketplace. (Suffice it to say, other greedy people will sell milk with melamine in it and lie about it.) Said greedy people ready to retire then sell-out the future of their children then to pay-off their greed.

Yeah - Capitalism Rules!! LOL TFF.

Keep-up the work and continue to prove realists right!

PS: Greed begets Greed. Break the Vicious Cycle and be real - help your community - don't murder it. Try caring about someone else other than yourself, and watch the World succeed around you. (It's been shown that the 1 thing that continually makes people feel better and happier is to help others; volunteerism; kindness - make YourSelf Happy by making the World Happy - Think Aboot it!!)

You are a smart man who has common sense, along with a good level of decency.

Good post.