The End of Men

[Infoproliferati]

I read a very interesting article in The Atlantic about women leading men in areas like education and career success amongst others.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-end-of-men/8135/

This article bothered me for several reasons. It makes bold assertions and provides realities to defend them. What is most unsettling is that the article heads towards the conclusion that men aren't men anymore.

In today's world, as boys they have great difficulty concentrating in the classroom. By the time they get to high school it is all about sports and athleticism or video games. In college they switch majors more times than they can keep track of or they drop out. At the workplace men still seem to prefer jobs that cater more to physicality than mental immersion, as is the case with manufacturing and construction.

The article makes the claim that all along the way the male (or man) has completely lost touch of where he is going and how much the world around him has changed. We no longer leave in an industrial age when construction and manufacturing industries can afford to employ a good many men and pay them well for that matter. It is becoming a world of services as automation is replacing the human component. And it is these men who are having great trouble getting integrated into modern society.

Women, on the other hand, aren't having much trouble adapting to the modern world. They are doing what it takes to not just survive but excel. They are getting the education they need, progressing in the work force and raising their families. Oh and supporting their spouse if there is one. Now couples seem to want more girls than boys. The message is being passed along with evidence that girls tend to focus better and are more goal oriented than the boys their age.

There is a sub part of the same piece which I couldn't find online. It discusses whether a father figure is imperative for raising a child. It concludes that what defines a man is whether he can provide for his family, financially. He isn't expected to provide emotional or physical support for his kids. But the means to get from A to B is his primary and most important responsibility. If he can't do that but his wife can, then he isn't good for anyone.

A lot of what the article sets out to inform, it does well with real examples. But I sense there is a flaw in the article not least because of some general presumptions made about working class men. The writer, like many of us, seems to be writing from a prejudicial angle: that men should be more successful than women. I could be wrong but I sensed this from the title alone "The End of Men." Every society expects men to be more successful than women. Even women (most) believe men should be more successful than women. What societies do we inhabit if we expect one gender to be more successful than the other? Are we that insecure?

Why does a man feel robbed of his masculinity because his wife or girlfriend earns more than he does? Why does a woman believe a man isn't worth her time because she earns more than he does? Why are women so quick to tout their independence today, "I buy my own stuff. I don't need a man to take care of me"...only to turn around and say they only date men who have at least x or y?

Now the goal of this article no doubt was to inform us about a trend; the rise of successful women. A veritable celebration after ages of suppression of their ideas and energies. It didn't set out to tackle the inequities of gender roles. Or could it be, it presupposes that with the rise of the women gender roles will be rendered a thing of yesteryear? Either way it is the end of men.

Is it? Are men no longer men? What defines a man?

[Tia Wood]

I think men and women are hardwired differently for different purposes: women are nurturers & supporters, men are providers & protectors. It is nature and we're meant to work together as a family unit.

Personally, I WOULD RATHER be a homemaker raising a good handful of kids, supporting a husband, cooking and cleaning etc but that isn't a choice right now. Being a single Mom, I have to be Mom&Dad while holding down a household, being MOM and a provider all rolled into one.

If you look at issues such as divorce rates, deadbeat Dads, drug abuse, single parenting, farmville obsession (referring to wasting time online instead of working) etc you can see the dissolve of traditional family values/roles and I believe this has less to do with any women's lib movement and more to do with the decline of society as a whole. We (men and women) are PUSHED to "succeed" in life (with that definition of success being defined by corporations) when part of a "successful life" should include family values, morals and virtues.

More and more women are forced to become better providers or end up on the streets with their children. I know the whole issue isn't that black and white but it seems to me less and less men are teaching their sons how to provide, how to respect women, how to provide stability (not just financial but emotional and mental), how to be a great family leader, how to spend time with their kids, how to enjoy the simple things in life, etc... what are women to do?

[JuniperPark]

2 words: "Affirmative Action".

Can you really claim to be the winner of a 100 lap race when you only had to drive 90 laps because of your gender or race? And what kind of person would call that being a 'leader' or 'sucess'?

[draggar]

Which gender chooses the path evolution takes?

The females (males compete for females and the females take their pick). It's even the same with humans.

[Infoproliferati]

We (men and women) are PUSHED to "succeed" in life (with that definition of success being defined by corporations) when part of a "successful life" should include family values, morals and virtues.

More and more women are forced to become better providers or end up on the streets with their children. I know the whole issue isn't that black and white but it seems to me less and less men are teaching their sons how to provide, how to respect women, how to provide stability (not just financial but emotional and mental), how to be a great family leader, how to spend time with their kids, how to enjoy the simple things in life, etc... what are women to do?

Men who leave their families and don't communicate with them really are dropping the ball when it comes to raising their kids, especially the boys. The decay of moral and family values you mention is certainly at play here. The women can't be blamed for stepping up to the plate and doing what's necessary to take care of their families.

What about the men who are kicked out of their homes by women who have become providers? Certainly, these men can't be blamed for not raising their kids into becoming respectable people.

[barefoot]

Which gender chooses the path evolution takes?

The females (males compete for females and the females take their pick). It's even the same with humans.

Sigh... I miss the good old days when a man could simply choose his woman, drag her by the hair back to his cave, and have his way with her. It was just so much easier back then.

[draggar]

Sigh... I miss the good old days when a man could simply choose his woman, drag her by the hair back to his cave, and have his way with her. It was just so much easier back then.

Women have been beaten down my the main religion so much over the past few millennia that many believe that this is still the way, just less violent. Sad that so many blindly follow these faiths without knowing it.

Of course, in the old relgions women were worshipped. Why do you think it is all about Mary in the Latin American Christianity?

[Vincent]

barefoot, I wish I were living in old days too.

Sigh sigh.

---------- Post added at 05:54 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:53 PM ----------

bare, I guess you're born too late.

So am I .

[Poker]

If your a man but don't feel like a man, then grab your chestnuts and work on it

[Mike Cruz]

If your a man but don't feel like a man, then grab your chestnuts and work on it

We need a like button on this forum, so I don't have to post this or anything, just "like it" and move on... Facebook > all