DNF$1,477 up for grabs for best joke posted.

**dadster** · 07-08-2008, 10:40 PM

A guy finds an old lamp laying in the trashbin outside his apartment one day. Its an odd shaped lamp and he brings in into his apartment. His wife isn't home from work yet so he decides to have some fun, rub the lamp and make a wish.

Much to his surprise a genie comes forth from the lamp and says 'I grant you three and only three wishes - use them wisely.'

He asks if he can wish for anything and the genie replies yes, but there is one stipulation - his mother in law will receive double what he asks for.

Our hero figures, what the hell. He wishes for a Mercedes Benz convertible. With a whoosh and a puff the exact same car appears outside his house. But the genie reminds him - your mother in law now has two Mercedes.

Bad enough she had two - but the old battleaxe calls on the phone and says its amzaing she is now the proud owner of two Mercedes! He can't stand her!

He is depressed, money always helps, at least it never hurts. So to get over his dppression he asks the genie for 50 million dollars. Whoosh Pop! Your wish is granted says the genie - and your mother in law now has 100 million dollars!

Our hero is being driven made by the stipulations of the wishes. That old hag always gets twice what he gets. What, oh what can I wish for that will make me come out on top.

He thinks and thinks for a good ten minutes, and finally with a wide shit eating grin spread on his face he makes his third and final wish: Genie, beat me half to death!

FIN

**Bill Roy** · 07-08-2008, 10:44 PM

OK, no more for the competition, I am judging now.

But of course you can still post your jokes, we all a good laugh!

Right folks, how do you decide, that is a hard one, I must admit over the past couple of days the jokes have always brought a smile to my face and some have had me laughing out loud. In the end though, the one that got the best response from my daughter (always a better judge of a joke than me) is........

wait for it.......

drum roll........

Cooljeba with 'the little boy and bus driver joke'.

Later this morning I will donate the DNF$, but thanks to a couple of other members here, I will (or rather we will) donate DNF$100 to each of the other posters as a thank you.

**cooljeba** · 07-08-2008, 11:07 PM

Hello BILLBO,

Thanks for choosing my entry

But more than the competition I enjoyed each and every Jokes posted here.. All credit goes to you for being innovative and start such a wonderful thread and spread some smiles and lighter moment around

..:: peace ::..
Jeba

**dadster** · 07-08-2008, 11:16 PM

Agreed = there were some great jokes here! Thanks for the belly laughs and Guffaws!

Great idea Bill!

Just one more!

Willy dies after a less than a commendable life and after being conveyed across the River Styx by the boatman is confronted by Satan himself.

Satan tells Willy that because of his particular sins while on earth he has two choices on how he is to spend enternity.

Satan walks to a door and opens it and shows Willie the occupants in the room, rather theit legs; as they are buried upside down in excrement. Geez, says Willie - I don't know - this isnt for me - let me see the other choice please!

Satan casts open door number two - sure enough out wafts the smell of excrement. Willie sees people standing in it up to their waists, but they are drinking coffee and tea out of fine china. Given the two choices, thinks Willie, the second is the best.

Willie tells Satan, I will take choice two! No sooner were the words out of his mouth, than he heard a voice announce over PA system - 'OK Break Time is over! Back to standing on your heads!