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the bear and the bunny were hanging out in the forrest and the bear asks the bunny, "do you have problems wish shit sticking to your fur?"
the bunny replies "no!",
so the bear grabs the bunny and wipes his ass
FunnyBunny story
? Why do men name their penises?
A: Because they want to be on a First-Name basis with the one who makes all of their decisions!
LOL
Did you hear about the MAN, that won a gold medal at the olympics?
yea.. he had it bronzed........
j/k... the world would be NO FUN, with out men 4sure!
Wanda,
I just had this sent to me
A Texas baby
A Texan buys a round of drinks for all the folks in a bar after announcing that his wife has just produced a "typical" Texas baby boy weighing 25 lbs.
Congratulations are showered upon him from all around, and exclamations of "WOW" fill the air. A woman faints nearby from sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, the Texan returns to the bar. The bartender asks, "Say, ain't you the father of the Texas baby that weighed 25 lbs. at birth?"
"Yep, that's me," replied the Texan.
"Well, how much does he weigh now?" asks the bartender.
"Seventeen pounds," was the proud father's reply.
"Seventeen lbs?" says the puzzled bartender.
"What happened? He weighed 25 lbs. at birth".
The Texas father takes a long, slow swig from his Lone Star beer, wipes his mouth on his shirt sleeve,
leans into the bartender, and with his Texas-accented
deep voice says,
"Had him circumcised."
it's a KEEPER
Originally posted by simone
Wanda,
I just had this sent to me
A Texas baby
A Texan buys a round of drinks for all the folks in a bar after announcing that his wife has just produced a "typical" Texas baby boy weighing 25 lbs.
Congratulations are showered upon him from all around, and exclamations of "WOW" fill the air. A woman faints nearby from sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, the Texan returns to the bar. The bartender asks, "Say, ain't you the father of the Texas baby that weighed 25 lbs. at birth?"
"Yep, that's me," replied the Texan.
"Well, how much does he weigh now?" asks the bartender.
"Seventeen pounds," was the proud father's reply.
"Seventeen lbs?" says the puzzled bartender.
"What happened? He weighed 25 lbs. at birth".
The Texas father takes a long, slow swig from his Lone Star beer, wipes his mouth on his shirt sleeve,
leans into the bartender, and with his Texas-accented
deep voice says,
"Had him circumcised."
for sure it's a KEEPER..
that lil man's gonna grow up to be some kind of
WildThunder
4sure!
cute joke, loved it, i'll be passN that around here in Tx !!
and did ya know why Blonde Jokes are so short????????
A: So men can remember them
bottaboombattabing........
being a blonde, i had to tell it..LOL
Why did the woman cross the road?
Thats not the point, what was she doing out of the kitchen
How do you make a woman blind?
Stick a windscreen in front of her
Yesterday scientists in Canada revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? - None, let her do the dishes in the dark.
Why do women have small feet? - So they can get closer to the sink!
ok, last one for tonight...........
How do you get 100 old cows into a shed? - Put a 'Bingo' sign out the front.
I thank you, good night everybody.
HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE...
to POP popcorn???Originally posted by President Gringo
ok, last one for tonight...........
How do you get 100 old cows into a shed? - Put a 'Bingo' sign out the front.
I thank you, good night everybody.
well,
it takes 3..
2 to hold the stove down
and 1 to look cool & macho.
That has to be the lamest joke i have ever heard.....did u make it up yourself? of course u did
A guy asks a young blonde he’s just slept with, “Am I the first guy you ever made love to?â€
The blonde ashes out her cigarette and replies, “You might be. Your face looks familiar.â€
Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden gets off the camel and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel's butt, just then a guy comes over and says, "What are you doing?"
Osama replies, "About 2 miles back I heard someone say, 'Hey, look at the two assholes on that camel.'"
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives?
Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
How many burnet's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Like, flip on that light switch *****! Hello?
What do you get when you cross a burnet with a carrot top?
A frigid *****!
Why do people think burnet's are all smart?
Because they feel sorry they're so ugly and boring and stupid and almost never get plowed!
What do you do if a burnet throws a grenade at you?
Laugh at her for acting all butch and breaking her fingernails on it!
What do you call 24 burnet's in a box?
A case of stuck-up *****es from the lesbian virgin sorority!
Burnet's are so stupid that like, they're always fashion season behind. No I'm serious: they'll be wearing Cashmere and leather pants next year. Stupid!
Why do burnet's wear glasses?
Because they're cranky old lesbian dogs who work at the library store! Tee hee!
What did the burnet say to the electrolysis lady?
I know, I know - I've got like a total grizzly bear pelt hanging around the edges of my panties! Can you help?
You know why men date burnet's?
Because they're gay and they think that they have man meat down there!
Why don't burnet's give blowjobs?
Because, like, they're too busy taking my order during my HOT DATE!
What's the difference between a burnet and dog shit?
NOTHING!
Santa Claus, Maya Angelou, Dwight Eisenhower, a pretty burnet, and ME are all walking along and we see $100 on the ground. Who gets it first?
Me! Because all the others are totally make-believe!
What's the difference between an ugly burnet and an icky lawyer?
None! burnet are usually lawyers.
You might be a burnet if... you totally have a moustache, skank-whore!
Okay true story: there was this burnet once and she was so mega stupid she drank Slim Fast and her "sensible dinner" was pizza!
How can you tell if a burnet just had sex?
There's snowmen getting rolled in hell!
What did one burnet say to the other burnet?
Why don't we just give up and kill ourselves!
Oh my god! A burnet walked into a doctors office and didn't even get a nose job or upgrade to a C-cup. Lame!
Like, there was this totally dumb burnet who totally walked into Dolce & Gabana, and was all "where are the khakis?"
So like this burnet is all wicked mad and is telling her friend that she gave her boyfriend a "piece of her mind" and like, if she was mad, why did she give him oral sex?
A blonde and a bunet walk into a bar, and like, the burnet orders a beer - and it's domestic! Bud? YUCK!
So like a blonde and a burnet were stranded on a desert island… and the dumb burnet was bummed, but like wow! Total tan city!
What do you call a burnet with dyed blonde hair?
The root of all evil! Get it? Duh!
Knock, knock
Who's there?
A burnet
A burnet who?
Let me in so I can bore you with how smart I am and then can I beg you to love me because no one will!
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