Being British

[Dale Hubbard]

Sic:

Getting a bit over awed by this national fervour that the media
seem to
think we need, here is an alternative view...

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American
shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and......
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the
way to
the back of the shop to get their prescriptions - while healthy
people
can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries and
a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on
the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen
calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from
someone we
didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in
front of a skating rink.


NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.


142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that
Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.



101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic
toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a
lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years
after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out
of Control Scalextric cars.

and finally.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into
the
toilet.

I am proud to be British

IF YOU ARE PROUD TO BE BRITISH THEN U'LL REPOST THIS!
(We might be British, but we are a funny lot )

[DomainersNet]

This is brilliant... and so true...

[PRED]

quality azooza! hilarious & so true. i particularly like the one about cigs & prescriptions. cheers, Guy

[DNAholic]

lol. true

[Duckinla]

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

I know this must be funny, because it made me laugh. But I still don't know what a "cracker pulling accident" is.

[fkrule]

when at christmas when two people hold the crackers from each side and pull them to see who can open it i am guessing they fall of the chair when one person lets go

[DNAholic]

yep. One person lets go. That has happened to me before. Did not need to go hoispital though lol.

[DogFaceBoy]

Good one Azooza, made a good laugh.

[tekz999]

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years
after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth. <- only works with a budweiser!

[bdss]

lol nice one azzoza so truly Brittish

[Banned: Preoccupy]

lol !