Valuate Domain Names
DNForum - Domain Sales, Domain Forum, Domain Appraisals, Domain Registrars
HomeRegisterMembershipsGetting StartedDomain Tools Domain EbooksSEO Software Domain Resellers Advertise

Go Back   DNForum - Domain Sales, Domain Forum, Domain Appraisals, Domain Registrars > Gold Forums > Gold Cafe > Humor
Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-31-2004, 03:09 PM   #1 (permalink)
Platinum Lifetime Member
 
PolurNET.com's Avatar
 
Last Online: 09-08-2009 07:58 PM
iTrader: (2)
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 81
DNF$: 147
Location: Montreal
Country:

Send a message via AIM to PolurNET.com Send a message via MSN to PolurNET.com

Talking Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

d I posted this at some other forums, but not here yet... it was hilariously funny, so I didn't want DNF members to miss out

I bet you'll all die of laughter by the end of this post! :clown: $DNF appreciated

=============

Quote:
Student Suspended Over
Suspected Use of PHP
By Brian Briggs


Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.

"A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."

Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit http://www.php.net.

Source : CNN for Dummies, 2nd Edition
:-D

==========

Another JOKE!

A new M$ Word Logo?
http://www.vwaskar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fun/word.jpg

.
.
.
.
.

Next time, y'all know what Word's good for... :bandit:

==================

:hehe: another good one
-------------------------------

ok, few days ago, I received an e-mail from someone in my Computer Science Department...

Quote:
Subject: [For Sale] Coursework Stress

Husband (A computer Science Professor) returning late from work:

Husband: "Hi dear. I'm logged in"
Wife: Have you brought the grocery?
Husband: Bad command or file name
wife: But I told you in the morning ?
Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort, retry, cancel?
Wife: What about my new TV ?
Husband: Variable not found
Wife: At least, give me your credit card. I need to do some shopping
Husband: Sharing violation. Access denied
Wife: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you
Husband: Data type mismatch
Wife: You are useless
Husband: By default
Wife: What about your salary ?
Husband: File in use. Try after some time
Wife: Who was in the car this morning ?
Husband: System is unstable. Press ALT + CTRL + DEL to reboot
Wife: Are you going to have some snacks ?
Husband: File system full
Wife: What is the relation between you and your receptionist ?
Husband: only user with WRITE permission
Wife: What is my value in this family ?
Husband: Unknown virus
Wife: Do you love me or your computer or you're being just funny ?
Husband: Too many parameters !
Wife: I will go to my dad's house.
Husband: This program has performed an illegal operation and will be
terminated
Wife: I'll leave you forever
Husband: Close all programs and logout and then login as another user
Wife: It's worthless talking to you
Husband: Shutdown the computer
Wife: I'm going
Husband: It's now safe to turn off your computer
^_^
__________________
++ PolurNET Communications Webhosting++
==Avoid the freeze & enjoy the breeze with PolurNET==

Last edited by PolurNET.com; 10-31-2004 at 03:13 PM..
PolurNET.com is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Ads
Old 10-31-2004, 03:21 PM   #2 (permalink)
DNF Addict
 
Nexus's Avatar
 
Last Online: Today 01:58 AM
iTrader: (3)
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,493
DNF$: 52
Location: Boston, MA


Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

Good classics.

~ Nexus
__________________
FreeWho.com - Free Internet Tools!
Nexus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2004, 09:41 AM   #3 (permalink)
Exclusive Lifetime Member
 
neologist's Avatar
 
Last Online: 03-15-2008 03:15 AM
iTrader: (17)
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 355
DNF$: 2,472
Location: Romulan Correctional Facility


Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

Reminds me of the time I was caught masticating at the table.
neologist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2004, 10:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
DNF Addict
 
Stinos's Avatar
 
Name: Stijn Poortmans
Last Online: 11-20-2009 09:57 AM
iTrader: (23)
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,470
DNF$: 936
Location: Belgium
Country:

Send a message via MSN to Stinos

Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

haha good one
__________________
.COM :Mistreatment.com
.NET :Daddies.net - QAB.net - OXH.net - QKQ.net
Stinos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2004, 10:25 AM   #5 (permalink)
DNF Addict
 
seeker's Avatar
 
Last Online: 05-20-2009 04:21 AM
iTrader: (21)
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 4,188
DNF$: 7,389
Location: Athens
Country:


Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

excellent!
__________________
Seek... And you shall Find
seeker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2004, 12:44 AM   #6 (permalink)
DNF Addict
No Avatar
 
Last Online: Yesterday 05:00 PM
iTrader: (50)
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,646
DNF$: 12,983
Location: Chandigarh, India
Country:

Send a message via AIM to cwsteam.com

Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

hahahhahaha, interesting...!
__________________
NICE Domains for sale - Huge Collection

PM me for details
cwsteam.com is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2004, 12:47 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
Fearless's Avatar
 
Last Online: 11-22-2009 04:49 PM
iTrader: (26)
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,987
DNF$: 8,739
Location: Planet Earth
Country:


Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

For the real truth go to www.PHP.org and click on some links while you're there.
Fearless is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2004, 12:18 PM   #8 (permalink)
Platinum Lifetime Member
 
BrandNIC's Avatar
 
Last Online: 02-24-2009 03:00 AM
iTrader: (0)
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 41
DNF$: 201


Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregr
For the real truth go to www.PHP.org and click on some links while you're there.
I just Got a script for php, errr rather bought a php script.
shhhh dont let it get around.
lol that was too funny. :-D
BrandNIC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2004, 04:45 PM   #9 (permalink)
Platinum Lifetime Member
No Avatar
 
Last Online: 07-18-2005 09:35 AM
iTrader: (0)
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 37
DNF$: 105


Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrandNIC
I just Got a script for php, errr rather bought a php script.
shhhh dont let it get around.
lol that was too funny. :-D
OMG I can't believe you are actually helping the underground PHP community by buying it and helping it stay on the streets. WE MUST PUTAN END TO THE EVIL PHP MENACE WHILE WE STILL CAN!!!!
Kamajii is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2004, 05:44 PM   #10 (permalink)
Platinum Lifetime Member
 
gwdguy's Avatar
 
Last Online: 09-22-2008 01:09 PM
iTrader: (6)
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 142
DNF$: 398
Location: USA


Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

I read about this while back and it is so funny how panicky people get without knowing the truth of the facts.

On the news the other day some kid here in town (about 12 years old) got arrested and taken to juvenile detention because he had a magic marker in class. The reason he got in trouble is the school said there is a an "unwritten" rule that says because of graffiti that kids are not allowed to have magic markers.. holy crap, carry a gun and get suspended... bring a MM to school and go to jail..


Robert

Last edited by gwdguy; 11-19-2004 at 04:32 PM..
gwdguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2004, 10:23 AM   #11 (permalink)
DNF Addict
 
Nexus's Avatar
 
Last Online: Today 01:58 AM
iTrader: (3)
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,493
DNF$: 52
Location: Boston, MA


Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

Quote:
Originally Posted by gwdguy
The reason he got in trouble is the school said there is a an "unwritten" rule that says because of graffiti that kids are not allowed to have magic markers..
Few things I hate more than people getting prosecuted or disciplined for "unwritten rules". So horribly bad. Sometimes these rules aren't written down so that they don't get "flack" on them. I'm sure some of the more arcane laws on the books around the country are a source of embarrassment when people find them.

Some from my state:
  • At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
  • Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
  • It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
  • Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
  • Bullets may not be used as currency.
  • No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.

"I-I'm sorry officer what is this about? This is my aunt's funeral! Why are you doing this!"
"Check the books, son... you're on your FORTH sandwich. We have witnesses that have confirmed this. You have the right to an attorney..." :p

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kamajii
OMG I can't believe you are actually helping the underground PHP community by buying it and helping it stay on the streets. WE MUST PUTAN END TO THE EVIL PHP MENACE WHILE WE STILL CAN!!!!
Yes... I also hear there is an truly evil corporation that is the architect of this engine of distruction. They have the audacity to offer "enhancements" to this "PHP", allowing people to "optimze" its deleterious and intoxicating effects. They even sell these products openly from their website! The FBI have been informed of this ZEND corp...

~ Nexus
__________________
FreeWho.com - Free Internet Tools!
Nexus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2004, 10:28 AM   #12 (permalink)
Platinum Lifetime Member
 
gwdguy's Avatar
 
Last Online: 09-22-2008 01:09 PM
iTrader: (6)
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 142
DNF$: 398
Location: USA


Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

hahaha... yeah some laws are funny too..

I have not looked but there used to be a law in my state that said that during certain times of the year that is was illegal to put an ice cream cone in your pocket. Now who that is suppose to protect the general public as laws were designed to do is beyond me but funny none the less...

There is a book that i have seen that has a list of all state funny laws. I will have to look around for it.

Well back to the original topic, this Zend company must be stopped it does sound like they are the reason for the speed of the growth of PHP. when will it end.. hee hee

Last edited by gwdguy; 11-19-2004 at 04:33 PM..
gwdguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2004, 12:46 PM   #13 (permalink)
Platinum Lifetime Member
No Avatar
 
Last Online: 10-05-2008 06:33 AM
iTrader: (13)
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 441
DNF$: 24


Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

hmmm... Interesting lol!
Crazysah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2004, 08:07 PM   #14 (permalink)
Exclusive Lifetime Member
 
neologist's Avatar
 
Last Online: 03-15-2008 03:15 AM
iTrader: (17)
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 355
DNF$: 2,472
Location: Romulan Correctional Facility


Re: Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

A certain young man named McHale
Obeyed every law without fail
‘Till a gorilla who shot PHP
Sat in back of his brand new MG
And now young McHale is in jail
neologist is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Free PHP email form system0 Website Development and Design Discussion 5 02-24-2004 01:00 PM
Need a good PHP and mySQL programmer CoolDot Help Wanted! 0 02-23-2004 11:58 AM
Im looking for some design jobs! need a new design or some php stuff? Mo Money Advertising and Related Offers 7 02-24-2003 10:03 AM
a nice one: mysqlphp.com Domain Name Appraisal Discussion 2 04-27-2002 05:29 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:50 AM.
Copyright @2001-2009 DNForum.com