Beware of PHP! (& other ones :P )

[PolurNET.com]

d I posted this at some other forums, but not here yet... it was hilariously funny, so I didn't want DNF members to miss out

I bet you'll all die of laughter by the end of this post! :clown: $DNF appreciated

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Student Suspended Over
Suspected Use of PHP
By Brian Briggs


Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.

"A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."

Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit http://www.php.net.

Source : CNN for Dummies, 2nd Edition

:-D

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Another JOKE!

A new M$ Word Logo?
http://www.vwaskar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fun/word.jpg

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Next time, y'all know what Word's good for... :bandit:

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:hehe: another good one
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ok, few days ago, I received an e-mail from someone in my Computer Science Department...

Subject: [For Sale] Coursework Stress

Husband (A computer Science Professor) returning late from work:

Husband: "Hi dear. I'm logged in"
Wife: Have you brought the grocery?
Husband: Bad command or file name
wife: But I told you in the morning ?
Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort, retry, cancel?
Wife: What about my new TV ?
Husband: Variable not found
Wife: At least, give me your credit card. I need to do some shopping
Husband: Sharing violation. Access denied
Wife: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you
Husband: Data type mismatch
Wife: You are useless
Husband: By default
Wife: What about your salary ?
Husband: File in use. Try after some time
Wife: Who was in the car this morning ?
Husband: System is unstable. Press ALT + CTRL + DEL to reboot
Wife: Are you going to have some snacks ?
Husband: File system full
Wife: What is the relation between you and your receptionist ?
Husband: only user with WRITE permission
Wife: What is my value in this family ?
Husband: Unknown virus
Wife: Do you love me or your computer or you're being just funny ?
Husband: Too many parameters !
Wife: I will go to my dad's house.
Husband: This program has performed an illegal operation and will be
terminated
Wife: I'll leave you forever
Husband: Close all programs and logout and then login as another user
Wife: It's worthless talking to you
Husband: Shutdown the computer
Wife: I'm going
Husband: It's now safe to turn off your computer

^_^

[Nexus]

Good classics.

~ Nexus

[neologist]

Reminds me of the time I was caught masticating at the table.

[Stinos]

haha good one

[seeker]

excellent!

[cwsteam.com]

hahahhahaha, interesting...!

[Fearless]

For the real truth go to www.PHP.org and click on some links while you're there.

[BrandNIC]

Originally Posted by Gregr

For the real truth go to www.PHP.org and click on some links while you're there.

I just Got a script for php, errr rather bought a php script.
shhhh dont let it get around.
lol that was too funny. :-D

[Kamajii]

Originally Posted by BrandNIC

I just Got a script for php, errr rather bought a php script.
shhhh dont let it get around.
lol that was too funny. :-D

OMG I can't believe you are actually helping the underground PHP community by buying it and helping it stay on the streets. WE MUST PUTAN END TO THE EVIL PHP MENACE WHILE WE STILL CAN!!!!

[gwdguy]

I read about this while back and it is so funny how panicky people get without knowing the truth of the facts.

On the news the other day some kid here in town (about 12 years old) got arrested and taken to juvenile detention because he had a magic marker in class. The reason he got in trouble is the school said there is a an "unwritten" rule that says because of graffiti that kids are not allowed to have magic markers.. holy crap, carry a gun and get suspended... bring a MM to school and go to jail..


Robert

[Nexus]

Originally Posted by gwdguy

The reason he got in trouble is the school said there is a an "unwritten" rule that says because of graffiti that kids are not allowed to have magic markers..

Few things I hate more than people getting prosecuted or disciplined for "unwritten rules". So horribly bad. Sometimes these rules aren't written down so that they don't get "flack" on them. I'm sure some of the more arcane laws on the books around the country are a source of embarrassment when people find them.

Some from my state:

• At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
• Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
• It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
• Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
• Bullets may not be used as currency.
• No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.

"I-I'm sorry officer what is this about? This is my aunt's funeral! Why are you doing this!"
"Check the books, son... you're on your FORTH sandwich. We have witnesses that have confirmed this. You have the right to an attorney..." :p

Originally Posted by Kamajii

OMG I can't believe you are actually helping the underground PHP community by buying it and helping it stay on the streets. WE MUST PUTAN END TO THE EVIL PHP MENACE WHILE WE STILL CAN!!!!

Yes... I also hear there is an truly evil corporation that is the architect of this engine of distruction. They have the audacity to offer "enhancements" to this "PHP", allowing people to "optimze" its deleterious and intoxicating effects. They even sell these products openly from their website! The FBI have been informed of this ZEND corp...

~ Nexus

[gwdguy]

hahaha... yeah some laws are funny too..

I have not looked but there used to be a law in my state that said that during certain times of the year that is was illegal to put an ice cream cone in your pocket. Now who that is suppose to protect the general public as laws were designed to do is beyond me but funny none the less...

There is a book that i have seen that has a list of all state funny laws. I will have to look around for it.

Well back to the original topic, this Zend company must be stopped it does sound like they are the reason for the speed of the growth of PHP. when will it end.. hee hee

[Crazysah]

hmmm... Interesting lol!

[neologist]

A certain young man named McHale
Obeyed every law without fail
‘Till a gorilla who shot PHP
Sat in back of his brand new MG
And now young McHale is in jail