Dear Dad

**debath** · 02-21-2005, 10:22 PM

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up
prominently in the centre of the bed. It was addressed:

"Dad"

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter.

"Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've
been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice even with all her
piercings, tattoos and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the
passion Dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy. Even
though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already
owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of
my dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and
we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the
cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will
find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!! Don't
worry Dad, I'm 16 years old now and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Your son, John"

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbours house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report
card that's in my desk centre drawer. I love you! Call when it's safe for me
to come home.