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  1. #1
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    Johnn's Avatar
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    Talking Disorder in the American Courts

    These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
    things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
    published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while
    these exchanges were actually taking place. What a HOOT! Lawyer suspicions confirmed!



    Disorder in the American Courts
    ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
    WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
    ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
    WITNESS: My name is Susan


    ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

    ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
    WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

    ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    WITNESS: Yes .
    ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    WITNESS: I forget.
    ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
    forgot?

    ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
    voodoo?
    WITNESS: We both do.
    ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
    WITNESS: We do.
    ATTORNEY: You do?
    WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

    ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
    sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

    ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
    WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

    ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

    ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
    WITNESS: Getting laid

    ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
    WITNESS: None.
    ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
    WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

    ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
    WITNESS: By death.
    ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
    WITNESS: Take a guess.

  2. #2
    The Good Guy

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    Last 5... No comment... Priceless...

  3. #3
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    south's Avatar
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    ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
    sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

    ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
    WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
    Excellent!
    All offers good for 72 hours except running auctions

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  4. #4
    Account Terminated
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    Let me guess,
    this thread isn't going to be deleted,
    is it?

  5. #5
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    It would be even more funny if it was not true, the fact of the matter is that the American court system is the most bizarre, and intrinsically illegal and immoral pile crap ever thrust upon humanity and it destroys countless lives and families every hour, and Americans (bless them) put up with it because they have been brainwashed (just like their North Korean cousins) that the rest of the world is a shitty place where everyone lives in trees and eats dung. Americans should strongly consider outsourcing their justice system.. there would be less shattered families, less medicated kids......

  6. #6
    Account Terminated
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    Let me put it this way.
    These are well-known quotes. They were bouncing around the web for a long time.
    Johnn or whatever his name is not getting any brownie points for republishing.
    Now, he is DELETING tons of stuff that's way below his IQ, which he himself indicated is around 20.
    He yet has to offer an apology to everybody for blatant deletion.

  7. #7
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    that's why Attorney's get paid the big bucks!

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