Don't mess with us Jews...

[Maxwell]

A lawyer and an elderly Jewish man are sitting
next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is
thinking that Jews are so dumb that he could
trick him easily, so the lawyer asks
if the Jew would he like to play a fun game.

The old Jewish man is tired and just wants to
take a nap, so he politely declines and tries
to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and
says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a
question, and if you don't know the answer, you
pay me $5; you ask me one, and if I don't
know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.

This catches the Jew's attention and to keep
the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the
distance from The Earth to the Moon?' The
elderly Jew doesn't say a word, reaches in his
pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to
the lawyer.

Now, it' the Jew's turn. He asks the lawyer,
'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes
down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop and
searches all references he could find on the
Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends
he knows, all to no avail.

After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the
Jewish man and hands him $500. The old Jew pockets
the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer..
He wakes the elderly Jew up and asks, 'Well, so
what goes up a hill with three legs and comes
down with four?"

The Jew shrugs, reaches in his pocket, hands
the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

[katherine]

Ahah

[Banned: dn-101]

After the passing of Pope John Paul II, the Cardinals had the duty to go through the late Pope's personal effects. One of the Cardinals noted that there had once been an inscription on the inside of the Pope's skull cap. The inscription was obviously very old and much obscured from wear and the passage of time.

Curious, the Cardinals sent the skull cap for study at the Vatican's Antiquities Department. Experts applied themselves to the task utilizing the latest in computer technology and encryption analysis.

They found that the inscription was in the ancient Hebrew language and after much work, they cracked the code and translated the text.

The results were handed to the perplexed Cardinal who read:

Benny & Malka's Wedding
October 19, 1935
Krakow, Poland

[Banned: dn-101]

A Wives Tale

Three men were sitting around bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a Catholic woman, and bragged that he had told his wife she was to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed
doing at their house. He said it took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put
away.

The second man had married a Mormon woman. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, the dishes and the
cooking. He told them the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Jewish girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry done and hot meals on the table, every day. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a peanut butter sandwich, load the dishwasher, and telephone a landscaper.