Only in Canada.... and probably the USA

[Adam Dicker]

Only in Canada .....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.


Only in Canada .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


Only in Canada ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.


Only in Canada .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


Only in Canada .....do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.




Only in Canada . .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


EVER WONDER ...


Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin ?


Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why you never see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


Why 'abbreviated' is such a long word?


Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?


Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?


Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?


Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

[Admin]

"Only in Canada .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke."

No way, all the overweight americans here do that too....LMAO

[stewie]

Hey!!! that was a bit too close to home...

[Dale Hubbard]

"Only in Canada .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke."

No way, all the overweight americans here do that too....LMAO

In the USA I read, there's a joint offering 'bypass' burgers.

The 'quadruple bypass' burger is stacked with 8 patties as I remember.

Branding is all.

[Admin]

I'm not sure about the bypass burger but I am a proud member of the Shula's 48oz club. It took me awhile to finish it and had to take the steak back to the kitchen twice to continue cooking it as I cut deeper in. It was good though and even better was Adam was paying for dinner that night

[Dale Hubbard]

I'm not sure about the bypass burger but I am a proud member of the Shula's 48oz club. It took me awhile to finish it and had to take the steak back to the kitchen twice to continue cooking it as I cut deeper in. It was good though and even better was Adam was paying for dinner that night

LOL - I'll be Stateside soon this year. They have great burger bars. That one sounds like a monster...

[HarveyJ]

Replies!!

EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin ?

Melanin darkens our skin so as to absorb radiation energy more efficiently and disperse it faster.
Our hair lightens so as to REFLECT said energy and prevent our heads overheating.

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Open mouth stretches out the skin under the eyes.

Why you never see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Because they see enough to know that the ones that can move objects with their minds are just going to rig it anyway.

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

That way if they leave their keys in you, they can claim it doesn't count as it was only practice.

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

It's not lemon "juice" if artificially flavoured. It's "lemon juice flavoured drink"... And it comes down to cost. Dishwashing liquid costs more than a can of squash.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Have you not been paying attention to the stock reports this October?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Because people live in a fantasy world promulgated by Disney. Why is there no "child" flavoured dog food?
Better yet, why is there "Old Yeller" flavoured dog food?!?!

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Because god wants you to be irritated & trouble when you go to sleep... Ever actually paid attention to the prayer you're meant to say before you do?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

In case it doesn't work and the state gets sued for giving the guy AIDS... It's a death sentence you know...

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Weight. Ever tried to pick one up? Something the size of a lunchbox shouldn't weigh 20kg!
A better question is why aren't aeroplanes made out of the same fabric as that cute little child's doll that always seems to escape unharmed.

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Because sheep don't shrink in the rain. Wool does. And it does... but more wool grows fast enough that you don't notice. Haven't you ever seen what happens if they get left out too many times?
Pink sock.. that's all I'm gonna say.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Terminals are merely the end of things. A better question to ask is why you're given a meal on the plane when there is absolutely no elbow room required to flex your arms in such a manner as to get a fork to your mouth in economy.
OR if you're in first, why they assume you're safe enough to be given metal cutlery when a nail-file is confiscated at the gate... Surely someone who's about to hijack a plane has no qualms about maxing out the credit card.

[DNP]

I also have these to share:

The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart
50° Fahrenheit (10° C)


• New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
• Canadians plant gardens.


40° Fahrenheit (4.4° C)


• Californians shiver uncontrollably.
• Canadians Sunbathe.


35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)


• Italian Cars won't start
• Canadians drive with the windows down


32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C)


• Distilled water freezes
• Canadian water get thicker.


0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)


• New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
• Canadians have the last cookout of the season.


-40° Fahrenheit (-40° C)


• Hollywood disintegrates.
• Canadians rent some videos.


-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)


• Mt. St. Helens freezes.
• Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.


-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)


• Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
• Canadians pull down their ear flaps.


-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)


• Ethyl alcohol Freezes.
• Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.


-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)


• Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
• Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"


-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)


• Hell freezes over.
• The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

[Admin]

I also have these to share:

-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)

• Hell freezes over.
• The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

Being a BlackHawks fan I know that feeling

[QuantumBeam]

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)


• Italian Cars won't start
• Canadians drive with the windows down

and Floridians don't go outside....

[NostraDomainus]

Don't quit your day-job DCG!

High-larious Harvey J! Now THAT's comedy! TFF! Knowledge is not only power, but funny!
Who'd thunk it

PS: Penguins Rule!
IMO, the Leafs are just 'filler' hockey, as like anything and anyone in life: Actions Speak Louder than Words. Leafs try to Talk the Talk - but can't, or don't know how, to Walk the Walk. (Example: Last # of decades the Leafs have played.) Go PENS Go!