The Pilot

[afloat.com]

> Two men dressed in Airline Pilots uniforms walk up the aisle of the
> plane.
> Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other
> is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.
>
> Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the
> cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.
>
> The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign
> that this is just a little practical joke.
> None is forthcoming.
>
> The plane starts moving faster and faster down the tarmac and the people
> sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the
> water at the edge of the runway.
> As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water,
> panicked screams fill the cabin.
>
> At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.
> The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat
> into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good
> hands.
>
> In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,
> "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and
> we're all gonna f*ckin' die."

[jasdon11]

Nice one VT

[fkrule]

lol lol

[Dale Hubbard]

Excellent!

[BELLC1]

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentle! men, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine."

Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

[alexsimon]

LOL.. both are good.