The zoo in San Diego obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem... The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Adam Dicker. Dicker, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the
animal cages. Adam Dicker, like most rednecks, had little sense.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Adam was
approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the
gorilla for $500.00?

Adam showed some interest, but said he would have to think the
matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would
accept their offer, but only under four conditions:


"First thing", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever'
t-shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this.

"Second", he said, "you can't never tell no body 'bout this." The
keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", Adam said, "I want all the children raised Southern
Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

"And last thing," Adam said, "I'll need another week to come up
with the $500.00."