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  1. #1
    DNF Member
    manish's Avatar
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    Talking Truth must come out

    Q Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq ?
    A Because they had weapons of mass destruction.

    Q But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
    A That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

    Q And that's why we invaded Iraq ?
    A Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

    Q But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass
    destruction, did we?
    A That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll
    find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

    Q Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
    A To use them in a war, silly.

    Q I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use
    in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to
    war with them?
    A Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those
    weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend
    themselves.

    Q That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had
    all
    those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
    A It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

    Q I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those
    weapons our government said they did.
    A Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those
    weapons.
    We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

    Q And what was that?
    A Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein
    was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another
    country.

    Q Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his
    country?
    A Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

    Q Kind of like what they do in China ?
    A Don't go comparing China to Iraq . China is a good economic
    competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops
    and help make US corporations richer.

    Q So if a country lets its people are exploited for American corporate
    gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
    A Right.

    Q Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
    A For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People
    who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

    Q Isn't that exactly what happens in China ?
    A I told you, China is different.

    Q What's the difference between China and Iraq ?
    A Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China
    is Communist.

    Q Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
    A No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

    Q How are the Cuban Communists bad?
    A Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are
    sent to prison and tortured.

    Q Like in Iraq ?
    A Exactly.

    Q And like in China , too?
    A I told you, China 's a good economic competitor. Cuba , on the other
    hand, is not.

    Q How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
    A Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, the US government passed some
    laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with
    Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists
    like us.

    Q But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba , and
    started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become
    capitalists?
    A Don't be smart.

    Q I didn't think I was being one.
    A Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

    Q Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
    A I told you, stop saying bad things about China . Anyway, Saddam
    Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a
    legitimate leader anyway.

    Q What's a military coup?
    A That's when a military general takes over the government of a country
    by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United
    States.

    Q Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
    A You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is
    our friend.

    Q Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
    A I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

    Q Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly
    overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate
    leader?
    A Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped
    us invade Afghanistan .

    Q Why did we invade Afghanistan ?
    A Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

    Q What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
    A Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians
    - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing
    over 3,000 Americans.

    Q So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
    A Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule
    of the Taliban.

    Q Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's
    heads and hands?
    A Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's
    heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

    Q Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars
    back in May of 2001?
    A Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job
    fighting drugs.

    Q Fighting drugs?
    A Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing
    opium poppies.

    Q How did they do such a good job?
    A Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would
    have their hands and heads cut off.

    Q So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing
    flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off
    for other reasons?
    A Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off
    people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off
    people's hands for stealing bread.

    Q Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia ?
    A That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy
    that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were
    in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not
    comply.


    Q Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
    A No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

    Q What's the difference?
    A The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet
    fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her
    eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of
    patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her
    eyes and fingers.

    Q It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
    A Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are
    our friends.

    Q But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were
    from Saudi Arabia .
    A Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

    Q Who trained them?
    A A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

    Q Was he from Afghanistan ?
    A Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad
    man.

    Q I seem to recall he was our friend once.
    A Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion
    of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

    Q Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan
    talked about?
    A There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or
    thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call
    them Russians now.

    Q So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
    A Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after
    they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our
    invasion of Iraq , so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the
    French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

    Q So the French and Germans are evil, too?
    A Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French
    fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

    Q Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we
    want them to do?
    A No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

    Q But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
    A Well, yeah. For a while.

    Q Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
    A Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran , which made him our
    friend, temporarily.

    Q Why did that make him our friend?
    A Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

    Q Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
    A Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked
    the other way, to show him we were his friend.

    Q So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes
    our friend?
    A Most of the time, yes.

    Q And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an
    enemy?
    A Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can
    profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the
    better.

    Q Why?
    A Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for
    America Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is
    a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

    Q I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
    A Yes.


    Q But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq ?
    A Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him
    what to do.

    Q So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because
    George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
    A Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes,
    make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.


    Good night, dad....!
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  2. #2
    Country hopper
    katherine's Avatar
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    Re: Truth must come out

    Old one but so true :greenlaugh:
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  3. #3
    Gold Lifetime Member
    khuldun's Avatar
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    Re: Truth must come out

    Long read but surely a good sarcasm, wish bush read it, maybe then he will understand things that an ordinary man can but a cowboy cant!

  4. #4
    The One
    VisualDigits's Avatar
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    Re: Truth must come out

    Don't insult cowboys, Bush is plain stupid!
    Cogito, ergo sum!

  5. #5
    Gold Lifetime Member

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    Re: Truth must come out

    Bush is an Idiot.

  6. #6
    Account Terminated
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    Re: Truth must come out

    no, liberals are idiots. Bush just has more information, but still funny read

  7. #7
    DNF Member
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    Re: Truth must come out

    Its too long, i only read halfway.

    thewird

  8. #8
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    Re: Truth must come out

    yeah way too long..

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