West Virginia computer users

[Acro]

You know a computer is owned by a West Virginian if...

The mouse is referred to as a "critter."

The keyboard is camouflaged.

There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.

There is a gunrack mounted on the CPU.

The password is, "bubba."

The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

Outgoing faxes have beer stains on them.

The printer goes really slow since Bubba don't read too fast.

The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.

The menus all have Budweiser, Black Label, and Old Milwaukee options.

Jeff Foxworthy *.wavs.

The monitor is up on blocks.

Seven blue tick hounds under the desk.

Deer jerky is in the desk drawer.

The screen saver consists of pictures of Ned Beatty with dueling banjos playing in the background.

The six front keys have rotted out.

John Deer Pocket Protectors.

And...

West Virginia Computer Terms
BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods

BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern

BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick

BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro

CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps

CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in

TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker

CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited

DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers

DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer

FAX - What you lie about to the IRS

HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking

HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos

INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair

KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere

MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food

MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers

MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall

MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live

NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line

ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test

ROM - Where the pope lives

SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch

SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast

SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year

SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear