- Joined
- Apr 13, 2004
- Messages
- 15,994
- Reaction score
- 1,425
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down
your throat and, presto, the blockage will be removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold
them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and
going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
Male or Female?
ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. But it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed.
TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
HOURGLASS - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL - female... it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
your throat and, presto, the blockage will be removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold
them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and
going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
Male or Female?
ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. But it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed.
TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
HOURGLASS - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL - female... it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
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