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Balkan humor

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Theo

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Humor from the former Yugoslavia:

• Pirocanci (from the town of Pirot, reputedly stingy): Why do Pirocanci have two peepholes in their doors, one high and one low? - To see who’s come and what he’s brought.

• Montenegrins (supposedly lazy): A Bosnian and a Montenegrin had a ten-metre race. Who won? - No one. The Montenegrin gave up, and the Bosnian got lost.

• Lala from Vojvodina (Naive and submissive): “My wife is a tramp,” Lale complains. “How come?” asks his friend. “I sent her a telegram I was coming home, and I found her in bed with some guy!” Then he adds, “Or maybe she’s not. Maybe she didn’t get the telegram.”

• Slovenians (about their country’s size): Why do Slovenians use only three speeds on their cars? – If they used the fourth, they’d be across the border.

• Croatians (who are perceived by Serbs as creating complex expressions to distinguish Croatian from Serbian): How do you say “cow” in Croatian? A four-legged, milk-giving, grass eater.

• Serbs happily make fun of themselves, too: Little Pera depicts a young, cheeky, but clever Serb: Pera’s teacher asks, “How far is Pluto from the sun?” - “As far as Partizan is from the Champions’ League,” Pera said.

People from surrounding nations have jokes too! In these jokes Serbs are often perceived as aggressive, violent and ready to be bribed. One Bosniak aphorism, runs:

• “Do not eat in a Croat’s house - he is going to cheat you - and do not sleep in a Serb’s house - you can not be sure that you‘re goimg to be alive in the morning.
 
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