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For lexophiles

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Dale Hubbard

Formerly 'aZooZa'
The Originals
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1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.Â*
2. A will is a dead giveaway.Â*
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.Â*
4. A backward poet writes inverse.Â*
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's yourÂ*CountÂ*that votes.Â*
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.Â*
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.Â*
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.Â*
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flatÂ*miner.Â*
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.Â*
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.Â*
12. A grenade falling onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in LinoleumÂ*Blownapart.Â*
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.Â*
14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.Â*
15. He broke into song because he co uldn't find the key.Â*
16. A calendar's days are numbered.Â*
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.Â*
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.Â*
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.Â*
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.Â*
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium atÂ*large.Â*
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.Â*
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.Â*
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.Â*
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.Â*
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.Â*
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.Â*
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.Â*
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.Â*
Â*Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a largeÂ*number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
 
LOL.

Some good ones in there Dale!
 
I still roll on the floor over #21.
 
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