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One day Ole comes home from work and announces; "Leena! Pack your bags I've won the lottery!" Leena replies with excitement and says, "O Ole Where are we going?" Ole replies, "I don't think you heard me right, I said pack YOUR bags I'VE won the lottery."
One day ole was home alone when the lady next door came over. "Ole she said would you please do me a favor and take of my blouse for me?" Ole's face got a little red but he obliged her. "Now Olie would you please take off my skirt for me?" Once again Olie obliged her. "Ok Ole take off my panties and bra." Ole took the last two items off and tossed them aside his face now burning. She looked Ole in the eyes and said "And don't let me catch you wearing my clothes again!"
Swen was standing on the street corner one day when Ole drove up in a new car. Swen asked, "Ole, where did you get the new car?" Ole answered, "I was out parking in the toolies with Lena, and she took off all her clothes and told me I could have whatever I wanted - so I took the car." Swen answered, "Well I think you made a wise choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Ole lay dying in his bedroom. He began to revive as he smelled the aroma of fresh lefsa wafting through the house. Ole managed to gather is strength and crawled out to the kitchen. Just as he reached for a sample of his loffy Lena's lefsa she slapped his hand and said, "No Ole, don't you know that's a for the funeral"
Sven, Ole, and Lena got invitations to go to this party. The invitation said that they must dress up as an emotion. So Sven goes to his house, and Ole and Lena go to theirs. Lena goes upstairs to change, she comes downstairs all dressed in red. Ole asks Lena, "Vut are yew supposed ta be?" Lena says, "I'm red vith furry." So Ole goes upstairs to change, he comes downstairs all dressed in green. Lena asks Ole, "Vut are yew supposed to be?" Ole says, "I'm green vith envy."
Ole and Lena get a knock on their front door, so Ole answers it. There is Sven standing butt-naked with a tire around his waist! Ole says, "Vut in va vorld are vu supposed ta be?" Sven says, "I'm in da spare!"
Ole and Sven and dere families live in da voods & share da same outhouse. Vun day Sven comes to Ole & says, "Ole, I got some bad news, eh? Da outhouse is full up an' ve should do sometin' about it." Ole tinks fer a minit an' says, "Ya know, Sven, I don't much wanna shovel dat stuff outa dere. Ya know dat I usta verk fer da iron mines down dere in Visconsin. I usta set da charges dat vould blast da ore out. I tink I could set up a charge under da outhouse, blow all da crap outa dere an' leave da outhouse standin' pretty as ya please. "Vell, Ole," says Sven, " if you could do dat, you vould be a God!" So dey go off to get da dynamite to do da yob. Dey come back an' Ole sets da charge yust so. Sven an' Ole are stretchin' out da ignition cable into da voods and disappear behind da trees yust as Ole's vife, Lena, comes outa da house headin' fer da outhouse. Yust as she gets inside an' settles down Sven an' Ole set off da charge. BOOOOOOOM!!!! an all da mud under da outhouse goes blastin' out into da voods. Ven da dust settles dey see dat da outhouse is standin' dere yust like Ole promised. Yust den da door flies open an' Lena stumbles outa da outhouse coughin' an' beatin' da dust offa her an' mutters, "Geez, I'm glad I didn't do dat in da house!!"
Ole and Sven, the old retired Norwegian boys, lived at the Old Retired Norwegian Home.
One afternoon they were sitting on the front porch looking at the sunset and talking about this and that. Lena, who lived there too, was standing around the corner and heard the boys talking. Being a mischevious lady, Lena decided to play a trick on the boys.
Taking off all her clothes, she ran around the corner and raced past Ole and Sven as fast as she could run.
Ole and Sven watch in astonishment as Lena runs past. Finally, Ole asks, "Vasn't dat Lena?"
Sven replies, "Yah, ay - ay tank so..."
Ole says, "But, vat vas she vearing?"
Sven shakes his head and says, "Yah, ay don't know, but vatever it vas, it sure needed ironing!"
Ole was never very bright in school, but one day the teacher started speak'en his language. She asked the class,"Can anyone use the words defense, defeat and detail in one sentence?" Ole sprang to his feet with his arm stretched in the air. The teacher very suprised, told him to go ahead. Ole proudly stated,"Ven de horse jumps over de fence de tail comes after de feet."
Ole has been shot to death. Vell, he vas up near da border with Canada cuttin trees. A forest ranger saw him at a distance and yelled "Vas is your name and whacha been doin"
Ole replied "Ole, bin loggin"
So, one night Ole was sitting reading the paper when he looked out the window and saw that his barn was on fire. So Ole quick jumped up and called the fire department and said, "Hurry, come quick, my barn's burnin' down!" The fire chief replied, "Ole, slow down. Now how do we get there?"
And Ole said, "Well don't you have that little red truck anymore?"
One day ole was home alone when the lady next door came over. "Ole she said would you please do me a favor and take of my blouse for me?" Ole's face got a little red but he obliged her. "Now Olie would you please take off my skirt for me?" Once again Olie obliged her. "Ok Ole take off my panties and bra." Ole took the last two items off and tossed them aside his face now burning. She looked Ole in the eyes and said "And don't let me catch you wearing my clothes again!"
Swen was standing on the street corner one day when Ole drove up in a new car. Swen asked, "Ole, where did you get the new car?" Ole answered, "I was out parking in the toolies with Lena, and she took off all her clothes and told me I could have whatever I wanted - so I took the car." Swen answered, "Well I think you made a wise choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Ole lay dying in his bedroom. He began to revive as he smelled the aroma of fresh lefsa wafting through the house. Ole managed to gather is strength and crawled out to the kitchen. Just as he reached for a sample of his loffy Lena's lefsa she slapped his hand and said, "No Ole, don't you know that's a for the funeral"
Sven, Ole, and Lena got invitations to go to this party. The invitation said that they must dress up as an emotion. So Sven goes to his house, and Ole and Lena go to theirs. Lena goes upstairs to change, she comes downstairs all dressed in red. Ole asks Lena, "Vut are yew supposed ta be?" Lena says, "I'm red vith furry." So Ole goes upstairs to change, he comes downstairs all dressed in green. Lena asks Ole, "Vut are yew supposed to be?" Ole says, "I'm green vith envy."
Ole and Lena get a knock on their front door, so Ole answers it. There is Sven standing butt-naked with a tire around his waist! Ole says, "Vut in va vorld are vu supposed ta be?" Sven says, "I'm in da spare!"
Ole and Sven and dere families live in da voods & share da same outhouse. Vun day Sven comes to Ole & says, "Ole, I got some bad news, eh? Da outhouse is full up an' ve should do sometin' about it." Ole tinks fer a minit an' says, "Ya know, Sven, I don't much wanna shovel dat stuff outa dere. Ya know dat I usta verk fer da iron mines down dere in Visconsin. I usta set da charges dat vould blast da ore out. I tink I could set up a charge under da outhouse, blow all da crap outa dere an' leave da outhouse standin' pretty as ya please. "Vell, Ole," says Sven, " if you could do dat, you vould be a God!" So dey go off to get da dynamite to do da yob. Dey come back an' Ole sets da charge yust so. Sven an' Ole are stretchin' out da ignition cable into da voods and disappear behind da trees yust as Ole's vife, Lena, comes outa da house headin' fer da outhouse. Yust as she gets inside an' settles down Sven an' Ole set off da charge. BOOOOOOOM!!!! an all da mud under da outhouse goes blastin' out into da voods. Ven da dust settles dey see dat da outhouse is standin' dere yust like Ole promised. Yust den da door flies open an' Lena stumbles outa da outhouse coughin' an' beatin' da dust offa her an' mutters, "Geez, I'm glad I didn't do dat in da house!!"
Ole and Sven, the old retired Norwegian boys, lived at the Old Retired Norwegian Home.
One afternoon they were sitting on the front porch looking at the sunset and talking about this and that. Lena, who lived there too, was standing around the corner and heard the boys talking. Being a mischevious lady, Lena decided to play a trick on the boys.
Taking off all her clothes, she ran around the corner and raced past Ole and Sven as fast as she could run.
Ole and Sven watch in astonishment as Lena runs past. Finally, Ole asks, "Vasn't dat Lena?"
Sven replies, "Yah, ay - ay tank so..."
Ole says, "But, vat vas she vearing?"
Sven shakes his head and says, "Yah, ay don't know, but vatever it vas, it sure needed ironing!"
Ole was never very bright in school, but one day the teacher started speak'en his language. She asked the class,"Can anyone use the words defense, defeat and detail in one sentence?" Ole sprang to his feet with his arm stretched in the air. The teacher very suprised, told him to go ahead. Ole proudly stated,"Ven de horse jumps over de fence de tail comes after de feet."
Ole has been shot to death. Vell, he vas up near da border with Canada cuttin trees. A forest ranger saw him at a distance and yelled "Vas is your name and whacha been doin"
Ole replied "Ole, bin loggin"
So, one night Ole was sitting reading the paper when he looked out the window and saw that his barn was on fire. So Ole quick jumped up and called the fire department and said, "Hurry, come quick, my barn's burnin' down!" The fire chief replied, "Ole, slow down. Now how do we get there?"
And Ole said, "Well don't you have that little red truck anymore?"
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