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FOR MEN ONLY... j/k

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Guest
For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the
rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit
guide will help you to understand just how it works.

Remember, in the world of romance one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you
get points. Do something she dislikes and points are
subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something
she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.


Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTY

You make the bed +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets -1
You leave the toilet seat up -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex -1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings +5
In the snow +8
but return with beer -5
and no liners -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something +5
You pummel it with a six iron +10
It's her cat -40


THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party +20
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with
a college drinking buddy -2.... Named Tiffany -4
Tiffany is a dancer -10
With breast implants -18


HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday 0
You buy a card and flowers 0
You take her out to dinner 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar +1
Okay, it is a sports bar -2
And it's all-you-can-eat night -3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face
is painted the colors of your favorite team -10


A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Go with a pal 0
The pal is happily married +1
The pal is single -7
He drives a Ferrari -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED) -15


A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie +2
You take her to a movie she likes +4
You take her to a movie you hate +6
You take her to a movie you like -2
It's called Death Cop III -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans -15


YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly exercise to get rid of +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose
jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts -30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." -800


THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

You hesitate in responding -10
You reply, "Where?" -35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass" -100
Any other response -20


COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying a concerned expression 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her
saying "well, what do you think I should do" -50
You have fallen asleep -200
 
Domain Summit 2024

DnPowerful

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But what happens when the woman (aka you) turns out to be mostly unstable, a kind of hysterically positive woman given to fits of attack-dog negativity?

Just wondering...shrug...
 

ad-lib

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Decided to make my own guide:

Women who give fellatio +15000000
Women who do not give fellatio -999999999999
Women who give massages, especially foot massages +250
Women who can cook good +20
Women who cant cook, so they take you out and pay for dinner +300
 

DnPowerful

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You might want to cap the daily posts at 10,000. Many of us (mostly silent) are tired of you monopolizing these threads with endless crappy names and personal nonsense.

Moderators? Any opinions on this, or too scared of the 2000 word shrieker?
 

Guest
you guy's be real funny... now..

oh yae!

she's a wild TexasFilly alright.
 

Guest
Originally posted by snoopy
This really isn't solving much........

it's in the "misc' category..

who FrickN cares?

we gotta have some fun..

right snoop?

or are you one.. for NO FUN?

just ckN :D
 

DnPowerful

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I don't need to ask around. My own view of your endless posts shows me that

a) you are lonely (no crime, really)

b) you have no taste in names (again, no crime, really)

and

c) you post 100's of posts about...nothing

If you really need to connect with people, perhaps you can save your minimum amplitude thoughts for the chat room, instead of bleeding them all over the forums where people post to learn.
 

Guest
Originally posted by DnPowerful
You might want to cap the daily posts at 10,000. Many of us (mostly silent) are tired of you monopolizing these threads with endless crappy names and personal nonsense.

Moderators? Any opinions on this, or too scared of the 2000 word shrieker?

a pleasant individual..
so nice..

you are one who see's GOOD in others..

and you are one who places yourself at the
last of the line

NOT...

NOT..
 

Guest
Originally posted by WandaMay


we gotta have some fun..

right snoop?

or are you one.. for NO FUN?

just ckN :D

:rolleyes: Wanda, after you abuse people in chat rooms they usually aren't likely to warm to your opinion straight away.
 
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