Top 10 ways to make sure your site never gets visited...again

[myblueshoes]

Top 10 ways to make sure your site never gets visited...again.

10. Keywords, what's that?

9. upload robust graphic files so the page loads nice and slow. Oh, and if that doesn't work try a couple plug-ins...

8. keep the same 'awsome' domain name you used for your last failed website.

7. bore'em to death!

6. use this handy snippet in your header:
<meta name="robots" content="noindex">

5. keep those annoying pop-ups coming.

4. make a flash-only version.

3. spell the word "secure" wrong just before prompting users for their credit card number.

2. clutter up that home page with lots of junk - even better, use a webcrawler to automate the task for you!

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY:

1. host with "part-time-servers.net"

(bah)

 

[AHDOnline]

Funny. Now i know..

ps. Anyone have a better host that Part-Time-Servers.net?

 

[mark]

# 5 flash only versions--too slow to load most of the time

 

[myblueshoes]

Funny. Now i know..

ps. Anyone have a better host that Part-Time-Servers.net?

Thanks.

ps. Go over to website design forum and ask. But to get a good answer -if you haven't done this already- take a look at a few hosts and plans and get clear on what your immediate needs are, and what you want to host.

Try snooping around:
http://www.freeservers.com
http://www.clubwebhost.com/services.html
and others...


what do you want to do:

-DN w/ parked page?
-starter/e-commerce website (size: about how many max bytes is your site-25MB ?)
-traffic/no traffic (how much bandwidth/ month do you need- 5GB, 10GB?)
-need frontpage extensions
-Need CGI bin?
-need emails?
-What type of servers: Apache/linux or the other guys?
-databases???


Hope this helps.

 

[Plead]

I think the number 1 way would probably let your domain expire =/

 

[Anthony Ng]

# 5 flash only versions--too slow to load most of the time

Yes, total flash is silly, esp. for business websites, unless your target clientele is highly concentrated with the Internet-savvy.

 

[myblueshoes]

Yes well done (plead)! Iwould agree...

 

[mole]

11. Buy a .COM, and give them PPC hell.

 

[Ed30]

11. Buy a .COM, and give them PPC hell.

12. Buy a .BIZ.

 

[Ovicide]

12. Buy a .BIZ.

Good point.

A registered .biz works as well as an expired .com.

 

[Steen]

Just don't buy any domains at all

 

[Sub]

Just don't buy any domains at all

Thats the best way to avoid traffic. Great point!

 

[RMF]

Popups always work

In college, I created a nice annoying little script that spawned popup after popup., They would bounce around the screen, so it made it very difficult to close them. As more and more popups appear, the computer slows down, and the popups create "trails". Then the computer locks up. It doesn't get any more annoying then that.

 

[Steen]

Popups always work

In college, I created a nice annoying little script that spawned popup after popup., They would bounce around the screen, so it made it very difficult to close them. As more and more popups appear, the computer slows down, and the popups create "trails". Then the computer locks up. It doesn't get any more annoying then that.

YOU STARTED "YOU ARE AN IDIOT"?!

 

[AndyM1988]

Thats funny
But why would anyone WANT to turn away people? lol