Interesting Facts!

[Johnn]

1 -How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

3 - Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of boobs in there..

4 - How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

5 - Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

6 - What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

7 - If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long

8 - Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

9 - Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

10 - Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

11 - If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

12 - Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

13 - Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

 

[A D]

All good jokes.

Did somebody have an argument this am?

-=DCG=-

 

[Johnn]

No - We have rules so there is no argument:

1. If you think you might be fat, you are. Don't ask us. Just get your fat ass in a gym.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put the thing down.

3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. It causes arguments when we comment on it.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present.......again!

5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

6. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Anyone can buy condoms.

8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

9.Dogs are better than ANY cats.

10.Sunday = Football/Rugby/Any other sport. Let it be.

11. Shopping is not a sport.

12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

13. You have enough clothes.

14. You have too many shoes.

15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to respond to it.

16. I am working on this one...

17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

19. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes, so what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

21.'Yes', 'No' and 'Mmm' are perfectly acceptable answers.

22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

23.Your mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

24.Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

25.Check your oil. It is an essential part of the car.

26. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

27.Don't fake orgasms. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

28.Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

29. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading them.