- Joined
- Apr 13, 2004
- Messages
- 15,976
- Reaction score
- 1,389
SCOTTISH WEDDING
At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. Yelled....
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
SEX
Condoms donât guarantee safe sex anymore â¦.. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the womanâs husband.
New Book
A man goes into a book store and asks the young lady assistant, "Do you have the new book out for men with short private?"
She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."
"That's the one; I'll take a copyâ¦"
Poor Lance Armstrong -
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, while on drugs.
When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my frigân bike.
Drive By
A guy broke into my apartment last week.
He didnât take my TV, just the remote.
Now he drives by and changes the channels.
Sick Bastard!!
SCAM
Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's about golf.
Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
Pregnant Prostitute
Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?"
"For f.... Sakes ,if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart?"
Sex Research (could be handy)
If sex with 3 people is called a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome, now I understand why they call you handsome!
EASYJET
Paddy calls EASYJET to book a flight.
The operator asks, "How many people are flying with you?"
Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane. "
The meaning of life in 13 wordsâ¦â¦
âInside every older person is a younger person wondering what the f@*k happenedâ
At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. Yelled....
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
SEX
Condoms donât guarantee safe sex anymore â¦.. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the womanâs husband.
New Book
A man goes into a book store and asks the young lady assistant, "Do you have the new book out for men with short private?"
She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."
"That's the one; I'll take a copyâ¦"
Poor Lance Armstrong -
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, while on drugs.
When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my frigân bike.
Drive By
A guy broke into my apartment last week.
He didnât take my TV, just the remote.
Now he drives by and changes the channels.
Sick Bastard!!
SCAM
Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's about golf.
Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
Pregnant Prostitute
Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?"
"For f.... Sakes ,if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart?"
Sex Research (could be handy)
If sex with 3 people is called a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome, now I understand why they call you handsome!
EASYJET
Paddy calls EASYJET to book a flight.
The operator asks, "How many people are flying with you?"
Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane. "
The meaning of life in 13 wordsâ¦â¦
âInside every older person is a younger person wondering what the f@*k happenedâ
