If Myspace were real life!

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Level 8
Jun 10, 2005
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Tila Tequila and Forbidden would know everyone in the whole world.

Tila & Forbidden would actually be hot.

At nights when you are asleep you would get people running in your room that you don't know saying. "It's 4 a.m., I can't sleep, someone talk to me."

You stress about designating your top 8 friends.

Everyone actually has over a hundred friends....thousands even.

People would be stuck in their homes for hours unable communicate with the outside world because some asshole put up a large white wall in front of every door and window with a note attached saying "Sorry, an unexpected error has occurred."

Boys & girls 21 and under are believed to be true adults that must be taken seriously.

Girls greet you at the door in their underwear or hoochie club attire.

Guys greet you at the door by flexing their abs or biceps.

If you're a fat girl, people would only see you from the neck up.

If you're a fat guy, you resemble a Japanese anime/cartoon character.

Girls would always be posing, tummy sucked in, cheeks sucked in and lips puckered.

Your attraction to someone would be based on their favorite clothing label, their favorite band, if they have tattoos and a survey.

All females are bi and all males drive import or muscle cars

Your driver's license would have hearts around your name or quote from an emo song.

People would run up to you, tell you a random message, and you'd have 17 minutes and 13 seconds to pass it along before a ghost came to your house and raped your dog.

The phrases "Yo," "your hawt," or "hit me back some time" would attract the opposite sex.

Marriage proposals are an everyday event even for those who never met.

Bands with 3 song demos could book stadium tours.

Lesbian women would not allow anyone with a penis within 50 yards of them, not even to deliver a pizza.

It would be perfectly acceptable to blurt out any random filthy perverse sexual thought at any random woman/man you thought was "hawt" as a first greeting.

It's considered respectable to contact friends with a simple "showin' some love"

It would be perfectly normal to see a man walking around displaying his erect, naked penis as it would to see random women running around in a g-string w/nothing covering their breasts but their hands.

Every woman from the O.C. would have a boobjob.

You are automatically judged by what you do and/or who you know or your interests before even being considered an acquaintance.

You can only look directly at someone through a mirror while they held a camera in 1 hand.

Blogs would be required reading and any random thought in your head would be shared with everyone

Everywhere you would walk, an image of Angelina Jolie would be behind you....or the marijuana plant.

You'd have a friend named Tom creepily following you around giving you bad news constantly.

It wouldn't be odd to have Brad Pitt in your circle of friends.

Hello Kitty would be a real person.

Conversations would sound like this "How are you?" Sent. "Good, how are you?" Replied.

During a long conversation you'd have to say "Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: all right, well call me later."

When it was time for bed you would say you're "Undergoing Maintenance."

You would have to paint your walls using Thomas Myspace Editor codes in your apartment.

Stewie from Family Guy would be your best friend.

In your circle of friends you would actually be acquainted with with clothing lines and porn stars.

When someone said something funny, you'd actually roll around on the floor and laugh your ****ing ass off.

"Friend Whoring" is equal to STD's.

"****in MySpace!" is the only universally known term in any language to show anger.

Bands go to your house and ask you to give them a listen because they see that you like a band they sound nothing like.

Anytime you walk into someone's house they have the same video or song playing all the time, non-stop for three months straight.

Anytime you go to someone's house they have rearranged their furniture and put up new "wallpaper".

You would look your very best at all times.

Everyone would make $100,000 a year or higher.

There would be a lot of youthful looking 99 year olds.

There would be a lot of mature looking 14 year olds.

Every couple of days you would threaten all your friends to take their information out of your cell phone and delete them, since they haven't called you in four days.

It's urgent you get a hold of your friends in the middle of the night but for some unseen reason, a guy named Tom forces you to play Pacman from 2am to 5am Pacific Standard time.


Level 7
Sep 9, 2005
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Feedback: 24 / 1 / 0
People would run up to you, tell you a random message, and you'd have 17 minutes and 13 seconds to pass it along before a ghost came to your house and raped your dog.

Hahahaha, I love that.
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